Diddily Dee Dot's Dreamland for Children Everywhere Knock Meadow
JUST FOLLOW THE WORDS AND READ THE JOKES
HA HA HA
OR MAYBE HERE THE KNOCK, KNOCK AND DON'T COME IN
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark? Noah was sitting on the deck.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !
What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam
roller? Flatman and ribbon.
Teacher: Name two days of the week
that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
What school supply is always tired?
Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on
the wrong feet. Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!
What’s the difference between a
teacher and a steam train? The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the
second goes “chew chew”!
Today my teacher yelled at me for
something I didn’t do. What was that?
What is white when its dirty and
black when its clean? A blackboard!
Teacher: I see you missed the first
day of school. Kid: Yes, but I didn't miss it much.
Teacher: Could you please pay a
little attention? Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.
Teacher: James, where is your
homework? James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why? James: You said it was a piece of cake!
Teacher: Why is your homework in
your father’s handwriting? Pupil: I used his pen!
Why is a tomato round and red? Because if it was long and green it would be a cucumber!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the kitchen!
What did one tomato say to the other? You go on ahead and I’ll ketchup!
Why did Harry potter? Because he didn’t feel like rushing!
How does Batman’s mother call him in for dinner? Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!
Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
What did baby corn say to mommy corn? Where's popcorn?
What colour is a hiccup? Burple!
How do you divide 20 potatoes among 6 people? Boil them and mash them!
I eat my peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It makes them taste quite funny
But it keeps them on the knife!
Mary had a bionic cow,
It lived on safety pins.
And every time she milked that cow
The milk came out in tins.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail with water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill collapsed with laughter!
As I was coming down the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But this one doesn’t!
The night was dark and stormy
The bathroom light was dim
I heard a crash, I heard a splash!
Oh Gosh – he’s fallen in!
What does a kitten become after it's three days old? Four days old!
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie talkie!
Where do cows go on Saturday nights? To the MOOO-vies!
Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!
What happens when a cat eats a lemon? It becomes a sour puss!
What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks!
What do you do
when a dinosaur sneezes? Get out of the way!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? I-don't-think-he-saw-us!
What do you call a
dinosaur wearing tight shoes? My-foot-is-saurus!
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?
Anything you want, it can't hear you!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet!
When can three giant dinosaurs hide under a small umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining!
Whether the weather be fine,
Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold,
Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather, Whatever the weather,Whether we like it or not.
In marble walls as white as milk, Lined with a skin as soft as silk, Within a fountain crystal clear, A golden apple doth appear; No doors there are to this stronghold, Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins. Six silver swans swam silently seaward. Peter pan pats his pet puppy perpetually
What did the shy pepple monster say?I do wish I was a little boulder!
How does Moby Dick celebrate
He has a whale of a party!
Who designed Noah's
Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?
If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?
Knock Knock Who's there? Isabel Isabel who? Isabel out of order? I had to knock!
If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
CAROL COLOURS CURLS.
What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the cinema?
You miss most of the film!
What kind of animal goes OOM? A cow walking backwards!
What animal has more lives than the cat? A frog, he croaks every night.
A top shoeshine shop is a ship-shap shoeshine shop, not a slipshod shoeshine shop.
What did one flea say to the other flea? Shall we walk or take the dog?
What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower? I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
Why was the Little Mermaid embarrassed?
Because she saw the big ship's bottom!
What is the strongest animal? A snail. He carries his house on his back!
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ? One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!